Johnny Appleseed

Joshua has Johnny Appleseed Day at school today. He has just recently discovered that he likes apples, so he was pretty excited about this day.

We had to pick out an apple for him and send it to school. He was supposed to pick the color he wanted, and he picked yellow. I think he wanted that just because I told him they were called Golden Delicious. They MUST be good with a name like that.

The instructions said that we were to wash the apple before we sent it to school. He was really concerned about that part, and he watched me wash it last night. I rinsed it and dried it off with a towel. He said, "That's it?! I thought you needed to use some apple soap or something." No, no apple soap.

Then, he said, "I'm just so excited about Junie Apple Day!" Um, that would be Johnny Appleseed Day.

Finally, we had a big discussion about the date today. He wanted to know if yesterday was "the twentieth of fifth" because he was pretty sure Junie Apple's birthday was on the "twentieth of sixth". I just let that go. :-)

A Moment of Silence

Today Joshua told me about his moment of silence at school. He said, "Mommy, I know what we are supposed to do for the moment of silence in school." When I asked what that was, he said that they were supposed to keep doing their work. I told him that he could do that, or he could pray. He said, "I can't pray! We are supposed to be quiet, and I would have to yell REALLY LOUD for God to hear me." Laughing, I explained that the Bible says that God knows our hearts, so if we just think about someone or something He knows if it is important to us. He thought about that, and then he said he prays for Caleb all the time because he is always thinking about him. "I just love him so much!" he said. Melts my heart.

I Know, But There's an App Now!

I know it's been too long, but I haven't been able to post on the iPad. So, very few posts. The good news is, there is now an app for that!

Joshua started kindergarten this year. So far, he seems to like it well enough, except for constantly asking why school starts so "late", and by that he means early. He has figured out that the nurse is quite nice, and visits her often. This is not making me too happy.

He has a new friend named Shae. He told me that he "had been watching her for a while and she always stays on green which means she doesn't get in trouble." That's why he decided she would make a good friend. I agree.

Caleb has been working on learning the names of his body parts. He knows the following: Feet, head, belly button, and tongue. The other day, as I was feeding him, I asked him where his ears were. He stuck out his tongue, put one foot in the air, and put his hands on his head all at the same time. I guess he was figuring it HAD to be one of those!

Well, I'm sure there is more to say, and I promise to update more often. So much that I never want to forget.

The Saga and a Letter to Diego

Well, if you've been keeping up with us, you know that Joshua had a "friend" at preschool since about February. Her name is Annie. I would personally like to stop hearing her name for a good long time. Forever would be nice.

I'm sure she's a very sweet girl, but she has already figured out how to make boys crazy. She had three of them tied up in a love. . .square? Not sure what you call it when one girl strings three boys along. She would announce on a daily basis whose "friend" she would be for the day. Or maybe the week. She also announced that she planned to marry two of them. (Not sure how she was going to pull that off.) Joshua was quite upset because he wanted her to marry just him.

This left whoever was not chosen as her lover de jour to have a "bad day". By the end, three boys that were previously friendly were at war with each other. Joshua was asking God to remove the other two from the earth. It was ugly, I tell you. Just ugly.

Joshua made her a page of hearts for Valentines day. He made me draw as many hearts as I could on a paper. He colored them all. He made me write, "To: Annie From: Joshua" on the back. He put it in his backpack. He gave it to her. She told him she was not going to be his friend FOR A WHOLE WEEK. As we drove home that day, he informed me that "the heart page did not work out as he had planned." I'd say so.

His teacher said repeatedly that the whole class was friends. I tried reasoning with him. "You're only four," I said. I told him he would meet other girls. I wanted (very badly) to tell him she was a hussy. I told him that Matt and I did not get married until we were 23. I almost made him count to 23, but decided that probably wouldn't help anything. Still, his heart was broken.

How did this saga end, you ask? Annie went on vacation and missed the last two days of school. This resulted in Joshua having a very sad last two days. The boys still fought over her, even though they are all starting kindergarten in the fall. Thank you, God, that we live in a different school zone.

Now, a personal rant to Diego:

Dear Diego,

I know that you couldn't possibly know this since you don't have any kids of your own. You are, in fact, a kid yourself. But, allow me to educate you. It is NOT necessary for you to ask kids to yell something LOUDER than they've already yelled it the first time you asked. Actually, most kids are too loud the first time. And, more than a few have baby siblings who are taking morning naps.

In the future, might I suggest having the whisper, and then whisper more quietly? I would appreciate it.

Sincerely,
A Mom Who Loses More of Her Hearing Daily

Highlights From Chattarooga, etc.

Last weekend we took a trip to Chattanooga, or "Chattarooga" according to Joshua. It was a fun time despite Caleb being cranky because he is getting his top two front teeth. We went to the zoo and to the children's museum. The best part of the zoo was spying the mother snow leopard with her cub. So precious.

Well, I know you only read this to find out what funny things Joshua says, so here goes.

1. We had a visiting German Shepherd dog at our cabin. We were warned by the owner beforehand that the dog may visit and that the dog was friendly, so we were not concerned when he (or she) showed up on the front porch. The funny part was that Joshua named the dog "German Shepherd". He would announce when German Shepherd left and when he returned. He would yell while walking in the woods for German Shepherd to come, too. Even funnier was that we all ended up naming that poor dog German Shepherd.

2. While attempting to find a specific ice cream shop, we got a wee bit lost. We drove over the same bridge two or maybe even three times. Matt said, "Well, life is an adventure." Joshua piped up, "Yeah, and I've got a souvenir." He was referring to his new snow leopard that he had gotten from the zoo, but our new quote is "Life is an adventure, and I've got a souvenir."

3. Joshua learned the word "souvenir". He decided he likes them. A lot. He wants to know why we don't get souvenirs from Birmingham.

4. (This is not a Joshua quote) We went to this fabulous local art store and met a dog named "Orange". Well, Orange stole Caleb's sock. Caleb loves to take off his socks, and the dog just took it right from him. We all got a good laugh from that.

In other news, while coming home from school today, Joshua started going on about things that Caleb stole from him. Such as peanuts, food for his frog, and lightning bugs. Apparently he left all of these things in the car while he was at school. He informed Caleb that, because he took his things, he would sell Caleb for a dollar. Very random.

The Elephant

Last Saturday, we all went to the zoo. We were going to check out the new Trails of Africa section that has just opened. We were hoping to see the elephant because our zoo has not had an elephant since we have lived in Birmingham. We were a little sad when the elephant was no where to be found.

I was told that the elephant got scared when he heard all of the people and retreated to his house where he remained for the rest of the day. I explained all of this to Joshua which was challenging since he cannot seem to comprehend why on earth a big old elephant would be afraid of little bitty people. I also explained that this elephant lives in our zoo because he has a broken tusk.

My sweet boy then wanted to know if the elephant was embarrassed by his broken tusk and didn't want people to look at him. I told him that I was sure that was not the problem, and that I was pretty sure that he was just not used to so many loud people.

Then he said, "Well, next time we'll just have to talk a little quieter, like a whisper. Maybe then he'll come out."

I just love him.

Noah and The Dogfoot Tree

The funniest conversations with Joshua always take place in the car. Like last Wednesday night, for example. We were headed home in Matt's car, and Joshua was playing with some knit hats that Matt had in the backseat. He stuffed all of them (probably four or five) under his chin. I asked him what he was doing. This is what transpired:

Me: Joshua, what are you doing?
J: (In a DEEP voice) I'm not Joshua. I'm Noah.
Me: Oh. Well, Noah, what are you doing?
J: I'm building an ark.
Me: Why?
J: Because God told me to.
Me: Why?
J: Because there is going to be a flood.
Me: What's that?
J: I don't know. We've never had one before.
Me: Oh. Well, why are you going to have one now?
J: Because so many people are bad.
Me: Who will be with you on the ark?
J: Just my family and the animals.
Me: How many animals?
J: Two of each. Like two. . . (He named MANY types of animals)
Me: How long will you be stuck on this ark?
J: 40 days and 40 nights.
Me: How will you know when to come off the ark?
J: I will send a dove.
Me: Well, why did God choose you to build the ark?
J: Because I'm pretty good.
Me: Oh. That's quite a story.
J: Yes, and it's in the Bible so it's true.

All told in that same silly, deep voice. Priceless.

The next morning, Joshua brought up the fact that I think Bradford Pear trees stink. I had mentioned that to him before we got in Matt's car the night before. He saw some Dogwood trees on the way to school, and I was having a TERRIBLE time trying to explain to him that Dogwoods were not the same as Bradford Pears. This became evident when he said, "Well, I just think those Dogfoot trees are stinky because dogs have stinky feet." So glad he cleared that up.

Hiccups

On the way to school Wednesday, Joshua had a bad case of the hiccups. When we arrived, he got unbuckled and said, "I just have a lot of hickeys today." I said, "Huh?!" He repeated himself. I was trying so very hard not to explain why he could not call hiccups hickeys. When he insisted that he could call them whatever he wanted, I decided I had no choice.

I told him that he shouldn't because no one would understand what he was talking about.
I told him he shouldn't because hickeys were something else.
Then I had to tell him what hickeys were. (Kisses on your neck. Enough information for a four year old.)

He then decided that he did NOT have hickeys. No way. No how. Not him. Not. At. All.

Made in China

On Thursday, Joshua had Olympic games at school. At the end of the day, each child received a medal. Joshua was super excited about it, and he had to tell me all about it on the way home. He was inspecting his "real gold" medal when he discovered some letters on it. He asked, "What does j, a, h, u, c, h, n, a spell?". I was pretty sure the letters were just a manufacturing code of some kind since they obviously didn't spell any words. When he showed it to me, I realized that it actually said, "Ja-Hu" and "China". I assumed that Ja-Hu was the manufacturer, and surprise, surprise it was made in China. I explained these things to Joshua. He thought for a minute, and then said, "Well, when did Mrs. Wendy go to China?".

Fluff or Nutter?

Note: This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post. He's just so dang cute.

Sometimes we make "Fluffer Nutter" sandwiches. For those that don't know, it's a grilled peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich. It gets all ooey gooey and is more like dessert than a sandwich. While I was making them tonight, the following conversation occurred:

J: Which part is the fluff and which is the nut?
L: What do you think?
J: I think the white part is the fluff and the peanut part is the nut. Clouds are made out of fluff, you know.
L: Are they really?
J: Yes, they are sweet like the marshmallow fluff. Except they have hair on them, so you can't eat them. But they fluff around like fluff.

Just a cute moment. Seems they are few and far between these days.

Baby's First Christmas

This was Caleb's first Christmas. It was a huge blessing to have him with us! (Especially since last Christmas he was in mommy's tummy, and mommy wasn't feeling so well. . .) Caleb got to use the special "Baby's First Christmas" stocking that we used for Joshua.

Joshua and I had quite a conversation about that stocking today. First, he told me that he wanted me to save it so that his kids could use it when they came to see me at Christmastime.

After a little probing, these are the details that he provided regarding his future:

He and his wife, Abbi, will have fourteen children. Most will be boys, but a few will be girls. He and Abbi are going to get married in a basketball net. (Yes, that's really what he said.) Abbi is going to wear one of those "things over her face" and he is going to wear "white with black on top". They will stand on the hoop part of the net. There will be flowers, but he's not sure what kind yet.

He is going to work at Daddy's office in the same room as his daddy. Abbi will stay at home with the fourteen children just like me. I think I feel sorry for her.

He does not plan on giving Abbi any kisses, but he will hug her on occasion.

Those are all of the details thus far.

Mickey Mouse is NOT Real, But The Angel Lawn Ornament is

There is this little boy in Joshua's class that he doesn't like all that much. Honestly, I can't say that I blame him. Joshua is generally a pretty good judge of character, and, based on the reports that I hear regarding his behavior, this little guy is not the kind of friend that I want Joshua to have.

On our way home tonight, Joshua was telling me that this boy thinks that Mickey Mouse is real. I'm guessing that this came from the fact that they watched a Mickey Mouse cartoon at school today. Joshua's proclamation was as follows: "I told him that Mickey Mouse is NOT REAL, but he still thinks he is. I told him that animals do not talk, and that they do not walk on two legs. And I told him that they do not wear white gloves. Mommy, I want to invite him to a play date so that you can tell him that Mickey isn't real. Then, we'll just send him home because I don't really want to play with him. I just want you to make him know that Mickey isn't real."

Not ten minutes later, we drove by a house on our street that sometimes has a beautiful lighted angel in their yard. I say sometimes because some days it is there, and some days it mysteriously isn't. I have no idea what that is about. Joshua's thoughts on the subject are that maybe the angel is real and flies away at night but comes back during the day.

That, my friends, is why Mickey Mouse is not real, but the lawn angel down the street is.

Just Like Jesus

After Caleb's bath last night, Matt wrapped him up in his towel. Joshua said, "He's wrapped up just like baby Jesus!"

Animal Factories and The Chocolate Chip Thief (and other tales)

On the way home from school the other day, we were stopped by a train. Joshua decided that it was heading to an animal factory. As he watched the train cars roll by, he told me what car would haul various animals. I asked him if animals were created in factories, and he told me no. However, according to him, lost animals are taken to these factories to determine their owners. Then, the animals are placed in the correct car of the train and returned to their homes. And to think I never knew that!

Today, Caleb stole my chocolate chip. He was quite sneaky, really. You see, I had taken a trail mix type of snack with me because I had to take our car to the dealership and expected to be there quite a while. I was actually in and out quite quickly, so I saved my snack and ate it while walking around Babies R Us. At some point, I dropped a piece of my mix. I knew I had dropped it, but couldn't see it, so I just kept on walking and munching. WELL, when we arrived home MUCH later today, I noticed that Caleb had something brown all over one of his hands and his pants. Now, chocolate was NOT the first thing that I thought of when I saw it, but upon closer inspection, that is indeed what it was. That little guy had grabbed it and held on to it until it melted in his hand! Who knows if he had his first taste of chocolate today or not. . .

Tonight, Joshua's prayer went something like this: "Dear God, thank you for yeah, and help people make more toys and more commercials, and thank you just yeah and amen." Think the boy's watched a little too much TV.

Whenever someone says that something stinks (literally or figuratively) Joshua always responds without missing a beat: "That's Caweb."

Christmas is a' Comin'

We started decorating for Christmas tonight. We started pre-Thanksgiving because we travel during that time and will have a hard time getting it done afterward. Joshua was so excited (read driving his parents crazy), so I pulled out his and Caleb's new Little People Nativity set. I was hoping that he would be preoccupied so that we could do the "boring" stuff like actually put up the tree. While I was attempting to get the toys out of all that packaging that can only be described as obnoxious, Joshua was busy setting up the manger scene. When I was done, I looked up, and this is what his scene looked like. Just precious. He said, "Well, they're all looking at baby Jesus because it is his birthday." We can learn so much from our children.



PS: This song sums up my feelings on toy packaging perfectly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1t90Bg9wAw

Joshua's Friend Abbi

For several days now, Joshua has been asking to have a play date with his friend Abbi. If you know Joshua well, you know that she is his favorite friend. She still lives with her parents in Gadsden, which is about an hour and a half away from us. We used to get together at least once a month, but both families have now added second children. This makes it a little tougher to make play dates happen.

I finally got around to talking to Abbi's mommy and arranging a date. I was telling Joshua when we would get together this morning. He said OK, got a little quiet, and then he said the following:

"Well, when I'm eight, I'm going to go stay with Abbi for twelve weeks. You can come, too. And Caweb. We will all stay at Abbi's house for twelve weeks."

Matt wanted to know if he could still go to work. Joshua informed him that he would be having a lot of "special daddy stay home days", a.k.a. vacation. We asked if Ms. Staci (Abbi's mommy) would be going to work. No, she would be staying home. I don't have a job to escape to, so I guess I'm stuck at home, too. Joshua decided that Mr. Daniel (Abbi's daddy) could go to work and go get our groceries. I'm wondering why he's the lucky one who is allowed to leave the house.

The Parrot

Joshua is a parrot, meaning that he loves to repeat what we say. He especially likes to do this when talking to Caleb. He does this in a high-pitched, sing-songy voice. Today, it went something like this:

Me: Caleb, do you have a stinky diaper?
J: (In his I'm-Talking-To-A-Baby voice) Caweb, do you have a stinky diaper?
Me: Let's go change your diaper and get a clean hiney.
J: (Same voice) Yes, wet's go change your diaper and get a cwean hiney, Caweb.

As you can imagine, this gets really annoying after a while. I tried to ignore it, but eventually I could NOT take it ANYMORE. So, I told Joshua to use his regular voice and his own words to talk to his brother.

His response:

"Well, my voice just does that when I'm talking to Caweb. And Mommy, you just keep picking all of my favorite words!" Of course it's my fault. It always is.

He tried this again after Matt got home from work. He repeated something, and Matt and I both told him to stop. This time, he said, "They weren't the same words, they just SOUNDED the same."

Drawing in the Jungle

Just a couple of funny things from tonight:

Joshua said that he watched the "Book of the Zoo, no, the Book of the Jungle" at church tonight. He meant Jungle Book.

Then, he told us he knew how to draw a party hat. This is how he said to do it, more or less: "You draw a line, and then another line, and then another little line, and the another line, and then a circle."

Joshua has some elaborate plan for my birthday, also. It's a secret, so I'll have to fill you in later.

Some days. . .

Today was one of those that I really enjoyed being a mom. Caleb was laughing (cackling) very loudly this morning while I was "getting" him. Joshua was loving on his brother and telling him that he was "the best baby ever". There were lots of kind words and laughter, and I could even here birds chirping in the background. (Well, not really, but it was a good day.)

I was reminded today that there are no better gifts than my children. Truly a heritage from the Lord, just as He says. Please remind me of this post on the days that I think I may kill them. =)

Just one funny: Tonight Joshua was in the tub talking about closing his eyes to keep water out of them. He said that he just needs to close his "shutters" on his eyes. In other words, his eyelids.

More Children Than the Stars

Today, Joshua told me that, when he a Caleb are both too big to sit in my lap, I should have another baby so that I have someone to hold. I then asked him what I should do once that baby was too big to hold, and he said I should have another one.

Suspecting that this was a never ending plan, I asked him how many children I should have. He told me that I should have more children than the stars, because that's how many children God told Abraham that he would have.

I asked him where all of these children would sleep, and he said that we would have to get a bigger house. He also said that we could get some of those "stacking beds like the ones on TV" so that they could share rooms.

This was funny to me, since he had just said a few hours before that the hardest thing about being a big brother is that I "don't really look after him anymore and he's always getting sick". How much "looking after" will I be able to do with a galaxy full of babies?!