Friday, May 20, 2011

The Saga and a Letter to Diego

Well, if you've been keeping up with us, you know that Joshua had a "friend" at preschool since about February. Her name is Annie. I would personally like to stop hearing her name for a good long time. Forever would be nice.

I'm sure she's a very sweet girl, but she has already figured out how to make boys crazy. She had three of them tied up in a love. . .square? Not sure what you call it when one girl strings three boys along. She would announce on a daily basis whose "friend" she would be for the day. Or maybe the week. She also announced that she planned to marry two of them. (Not sure how she was going to pull that off.) Joshua was quite upset because he wanted her to marry just him.

This left whoever was not chosen as her lover de jour to have a "bad day". By the end, three boys that were previously friendly were at war with each other. Joshua was asking God to remove the other two from the earth. It was ugly, I tell you. Just ugly.

Joshua made her a page of hearts for Valentines day. He made me draw as many hearts as I could on a paper. He colored them all. He made me write, "To: Annie From: Joshua" on the back. He put it in his backpack. He gave it to her. She told him she was not going to be his friend FOR A WHOLE WEEK. As we drove home that day, he informed me that "the heart page did not work out as he had planned." I'd say so.

His teacher said repeatedly that the whole class was friends. I tried reasoning with him. "You're only four," I said. I told him he would meet other girls. I wanted (very badly) to tell him she was a hussy. I told him that Matt and I did not get married until we were 23. I almost made him count to 23, but decided that probably wouldn't help anything. Still, his heart was broken.

How did this saga end, you ask? Annie went on vacation and missed the last two days of school. This resulted in Joshua having a very sad last two days. The boys still fought over her, even though they are all starting kindergarten in the fall. Thank you, God, that we live in a different school zone.

Now, a personal rant to Diego:

Dear Diego,

I know that you couldn't possibly know this since you don't have any kids of your own. You are, in fact, a kid yourself. But, allow me to educate you. It is NOT necessary for you to ask kids to yell something LOUDER than they've already yelled it the first time you asked. Actually, most kids are too loud the first time. And, more than a few have baby siblings who are taking morning naps.

In the future, might I suggest having the whisper, and then whisper more quietly? I would appreciate it.

A Mom Who Loses More of Her Hearing Daily

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