Johnny Appleseed

Joshua has Johnny Appleseed Day at school today. He has just recently discovered that he likes apples, so he was pretty excited about this day.

We had to pick out an apple for him and send it to school. He was supposed to pick the color he wanted, and he picked yellow. I think he wanted that just because I told him they were called Golden Delicious. They MUST be good with a name like that.

The instructions said that we were to wash the apple before we sent it to school. He was really concerned about that part, and he watched me wash it last night. I rinsed it and dried it off with a towel. He said, "That's it?! I thought you needed to use some apple soap or something." No, no apple soap.

Then, he said, "I'm just so excited about Junie Apple Day!" Um, that would be Johnny Appleseed Day.

Finally, we had a big discussion about the date today. He wanted to know if yesterday was "the twentieth of fifth" because he was pretty sure Junie Apple's birthday was on the "twentieth of sixth". I just let that go. :-)

A Moment of Silence

Today Joshua told me about his moment of silence at school. He said, "Mommy, I know what we are supposed to do for the moment of silence in school." When I asked what that was, he said that they were supposed to keep doing their work. I told him that he could do that, or he could pray. He said, "I can't pray! We are supposed to be quiet, and I would have to yell REALLY LOUD for God to hear me." Laughing, I explained that the Bible says that God knows our hearts, so if we just think about someone or something He knows if it is important to us. He thought about that, and then he said he prays for Caleb all the time because he is always thinking about him. "I just love him so much!" he said. Melts my heart.

I Know, But There's an App Now!

I know it's been too long, but I haven't been able to post on the iPad. So, very few posts. The good news is, there is now an app for that!

Joshua started kindergarten this year. So far, he seems to like it well enough, except for constantly asking why school starts so "late", and by that he means early. He has figured out that the nurse is quite nice, and visits her often. This is not making me too happy.

He has a new friend named Shae. He told me that he "had been watching her for a while and she always stays on green which means she doesn't get in trouble." That's why he decided she would make a good friend. I agree.

Caleb has been working on learning the names of his body parts. He knows the following: Feet, head, belly button, and tongue. The other day, as I was feeding him, I asked him where his ears were. He stuck out his tongue, put one foot in the air, and put his hands on his head all at the same time. I guess he was figuring it HAD to be one of those!

Well, I'm sure there is more to say, and I promise to update more often. So much that I never want to forget.

The Saga and a Letter to Diego

Well, if you've been keeping up with us, you know that Joshua had a "friend" at preschool since about February. Her name is Annie. I would personally like to stop hearing her name for a good long time. Forever would be nice.

I'm sure she's a very sweet girl, but she has already figured out how to make boys crazy. She had three of them tied up in a love. . .square? Not sure what you call it when one girl strings three boys along. She would announce on a daily basis whose "friend" she would be for the day. Or maybe the week. She also announced that she planned to marry two of them. (Not sure how she was going to pull that off.) Joshua was quite upset because he wanted her to marry just him.

This left whoever was not chosen as her lover de jour to have a "bad day". By the end, three boys that were previously friendly were at war with each other. Joshua was asking God to remove the other two from the earth. It was ugly, I tell you. Just ugly.

Joshua made her a page of hearts for Valentines day. He made me draw as many hearts as I could on a paper. He colored them all. He made me write, "To: Annie From: Joshua" on the back. He put it in his backpack. He gave it to her. She told him she was not going to be his friend FOR A WHOLE WEEK. As we drove home that day, he informed me that "the heart page did not work out as he had planned." I'd say so.

His teacher said repeatedly that the whole class was friends. I tried reasoning with him. "You're only four," I said. I told him he would meet other girls. I wanted (very badly) to tell him she was a hussy. I told him that Matt and I did not get married until we were 23. I almost made him count to 23, but decided that probably wouldn't help anything. Still, his heart was broken.

How did this saga end, you ask? Annie went on vacation and missed the last two days of school. This resulted in Joshua having a very sad last two days. The boys still fought over her, even though they are all starting kindergarten in the fall. Thank you, God, that we live in a different school zone.

Now, a personal rant to Diego:

Dear Diego,

I know that you couldn't possibly know this since you don't have any kids of your own. You are, in fact, a kid yourself. But, allow me to educate you. It is NOT necessary for you to ask kids to yell something LOUDER than they've already yelled it the first time you asked. Actually, most kids are too loud the first time. And, more than a few have baby siblings who are taking morning naps.

In the future, might I suggest having the whisper, and then whisper more quietly? I would appreciate it.

Sincerely,
A Mom Who Loses More of Her Hearing Daily

Highlights From Chattarooga, etc.

Last weekend we took a trip to Chattanooga, or "Chattarooga" according to Joshua. It was a fun time despite Caleb being cranky because he is getting his top two front teeth. We went to the zoo and to the children's museum. The best part of the zoo was spying the mother snow leopard with her cub. So precious.

Well, I know you only read this to find out what funny things Joshua says, so here goes.

1. We had a visiting German Shepherd dog at our cabin. We were warned by the owner beforehand that the dog may visit and that the dog was friendly, so we were not concerned when he (or she) showed up on the front porch. The funny part was that Joshua named the dog "German Shepherd". He would announce when German Shepherd left and when he returned. He would yell while walking in the woods for German Shepherd to come, too. Even funnier was that we all ended up naming that poor dog German Shepherd.

2. While attempting to find a specific ice cream shop, we got a wee bit lost. We drove over the same bridge two or maybe even three times. Matt said, "Well, life is an adventure." Joshua piped up, "Yeah, and I've got a souvenir." He was referring to his new snow leopard that he had gotten from the zoo, but our new quote is "Life is an adventure, and I've got a souvenir."

3. Joshua learned the word "souvenir". He decided he likes them. A lot. He wants to know why we don't get souvenirs from Birmingham.

4. (This is not a Joshua quote) We went to this fabulous local art store and met a dog named "Orange". Well, Orange stole Caleb's sock. Caleb loves to take off his socks, and the dog just took it right from him. We all got a good laugh from that.

In other news, while coming home from school today, Joshua started going on about things that Caleb stole from him. Such as peanuts, food for his frog, and lightning bugs. Apparently he left all of these things in the car while he was at school. He informed Caleb that, because he took his things, he would sell Caleb for a dollar. Very random.

The Elephant

Last Saturday, we all went to the zoo. We were going to check out the new Trails of Africa section that has just opened. We were hoping to see the elephant because our zoo has not had an elephant since we have lived in Birmingham. We were a little sad when the elephant was no where to be found.

I was told that the elephant got scared when he heard all of the people and retreated to his house where he remained for the rest of the day. I explained all of this to Joshua which was challenging since he cannot seem to comprehend why on earth a big old elephant would be afraid of little bitty people. I also explained that this elephant lives in our zoo because he has a broken tusk.

My sweet boy then wanted to know if the elephant was embarrassed by his broken tusk and didn't want people to look at him. I told him that I was sure that was not the problem, and that I was pretty sure that he was just not used to so many loud people.

Then he said, "Well, next time we'll just have to talk a little quieter, like a whisper. Maybe then he'll come out."

I just love him.

Noah and The Dogfoot Tree

The funniest conversations with Joshua always take place in the car. Like last Wednesday night, for example. We were headed home in Matt's car, and Joshua was playing with some knit hats that Matt had in the backseat. He stuffed all of them (probably four or five) under his chin. I asked him what he was doing. This is what transpired:

Me: Joshua, what are you doing?
J: (In a DEEP voice) I'm not Joshua. I'm Noah.
Me: Oh. Well, Noah, what are you doing?
J: I'm building an ark.
Me: Why?
J: Because God told me to.
Me: Why?
J: Because there is going to be a flood.
Me: What's that?
J: I don't know. We've never had one before.
Me: Oh. Well, why are you going to have one now?
J: Because so many people are bad.
Me: Who will be with you on the ark?
J: Just my family and the animals.
Me: How many animals?
J: Two of each. Like two. . . (He named MANY types of animals)
Me: How long will you be stuck on this ark?
J: 40 days and 40 nights.
Me: How will you know when to come off the ark?
J: I will send a dove.
Me: Well, why did God choose you to build the ark?
J: Because I'm pretty good.
Me: Oh. That's quite a story.
J: Yes, and it's in the Bible so it's true.

All told in that same silly, deep voice. Priceless.

The next morning, Joshua brought up the fact that I think Bradford Pear trees stink. I had mentioned that to him before we got in Matt's car the night before. He saw some Dogwood trees on the way to school, and I was having a TERRIBLE time trying to explain to him that Dogwoods were not the same as Bradford Pears. This became evident when he said, "Well, I just think those Dogfoot trees are stinky because dogs have stinky feet." So glad he cleared that up.

Hiccups

On the way to school Wednesday, Joshua had a bad case of the hiccups. When we arrived, he got unbuckled and said, "I just have a lot of hickeys today." I said, "Huh?!" He repeated himself. I was trying so very hard not to explain why he could not call hiccups hickeys. When he insisted that he could call them whatever he wanted, I decided I had no choice.

I told him that he shouldn't because no one would understand what he was talking about.
I told him he shouldn't because hickeys were something else.
Then I had to tell him what hickeys were. (Kisses on your neck. Enough information for a four year old.)

He then decided that he did NOT have hickeys. No way. No how. Not him. Not. At. All.

Made in China

On Thursday, Joshua had Olympic games at school. At the end of the day, each child received a medal. Joshua was super excited about it, and he had to tell me all about it on the way home. He was inspecting his "real gold" medal when he discovered some letters on it. He asked, "What does j, a, h, u, c, h, n, a spell?". I was pretty sure the letters were just a manufacturing code of some kind since they obviously didn't spell any words. When he showed it to me, I realized that it actually said, "Ja-Hu" and "China". I assumed that Ja-Hu was the manufacturer, and surprise, surprise it was made in China. I explained these things to Joshua. He thought for a minute, and then said, "Well, when did Mrs. Wendy go to China?".

Fluff or Nutter?

Note: This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post. He's just so dang cute.

Sometimes we make "Fluffer Nutter" sandwiches. For those that don't know, it's a grilled peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich. It gets all ooey gooey and is more like dessert than a sandwich. While I was making them tonight, the following conversation occurred:

J: Which part is the fluff and which is the nut?
L: What do you think?
J: I think the white part is the fluff and the peanut part is the nut. Clouds are made out of fluff, you know.
L: Are they really?
J: Yes, they are sweet like the marshmallow fluff. Except they have hair on them, so you can't eat them. But they fluff around like fluff.

Just a cute moment. Seems they are few and far between these days.