Aminals

Conversation between Matt and Joshua:

J: My go fish card directions say something about aminals.

M: You don't even know how to spell animals.

J: Yes I do!

M: How?

J: g-o-s-t

M: That isn't even a word.

J: Well, how do you spell aminals?

M: It's not aminals, it's a-ni-mals.

J: A-mi-nals.

M: No, a-ni-mals. Say it with me. . .

Gotta be able to say it right before you can spell it, kid.

How God Made the Trees (According to Joshua)

While driving to school this morning, Joshua told me that he wanted to tell his daddy that God made the trees "just in case he didn't know that". Then, he proceeded to tell me how He made them:

"God made the trunks and the branches. Then, he made all the leaves fall on the ground. People picked them up and put them on the trees. If they couldn't reach the tops of the trees they had to use a ladder. That's why we have ladders, you know." No, as a matter of fact, I did not know.

Smushed Fire Breathing Police Officer Who Wonders What Hackupping Is But Knows All About Halloween

Matt and I are pretty serious about not allowing Joshua to sleep in our bed UNLESS there is a thunderstorm. Well, a couple of nights ago, there was such an occasion. It happened about 4 a.m., and Matt just brought Joshua in and put him in the middle of the bed. I moved over a bit to allow for our guest, but Joshua absolutely refused to move over off of Matt's side of the bed. The result was that poor Matt was half hanging off of the bed for the remainder of the night. The next morning, Joshua decided to complain to me about how "smushed" and "squished" he was in our bed because there just wasn't room for him. Poor guy. . .

Today at school, Joshua was a fire breathing dragon. He was having fun fire breathing until he decided that he would rather be a police officer. Um, OK.

Our cat sometimes has these asthmatic sounding coughing attacks that sound like she is hacking up a lung. She had one such attack a few days ago, and I reported it to Matt. Joshua asked what "hackupping" is.

Tonight, Joshua was explaining trick or treating to me. Trick or treating is for kids who are "4 or 5 or 6 or 7 or 3 or 2 or 1, but not for adults with big numbers or for babies." I think I'm an adult with a big number.

Business

One of the things I've had to learn as a parent of two is that, if you want to maintain the Santa Claus fantasy, you cannot let the kids see anybody's Christmas presents. I mean, if Joshua saw Caleb's loot pre-December 25, he would know Santa didn't bring it. This has made life interesting in the Jennings house.

Matt and I have learned to talk in code about anything Christmas related. For starters, we don't say "Christmas", we say "December 25th" or "The 25th". We spell things, refer to things as "the thing we talked about before", etc.

So, yesterday while Joshua was at school I did some shopping for "The 25th". I very strategically placed the bag in the very back of our CR-V with Caleb's gift on top so that Joshua at least could not see his own. Then, I asked Matt to try to get it out before we got home from church last night. Matt remembered it at about 10:00, so we just decided to leave it until later. (To be fair, we have about 2,862 things to remember on a typical Wednesday night, and last night we had to do the Alpha Bucket (see previous post) so that made 2,863. It's not surprising that something was overlooked.)

This morning while we were waiting in carpool, Joshua noticed the bag. He said, "MOMMY! THERE IS SOMETHING BACK THERE FOR CAWEB!" (L's are pronounced as W's) I tried to ignore him. "MOMMY! THERE IS A TOY BACK THERE FOR CAWEB!" Me: Joshua, that is none of your business. "WELL, THEN WHO'S BUSINESS IS IT?! IT MUST BE SOMEBODY'S BUSINESS!" Me: It doesn't matter, because it's none of your business. "Well, it is Caweb's business. And it's your business. So, Caweb can't ask, so I am." Me: Well, I'm not answering, and I don't want to hear anymore about it. It is NOT your business.

I think life would be easier if Santa was real. Just sayin'.

Alpha Bucket

Joshua is star student this week. That means, among other things, that it is his job to fill the alpha bucket. The bucket is an ordinary plastic one that has every letter of the alphabet written on it. They learn a new letter each week, and the star student brings the bucket home and fills it with items beginning with that letter.

So, Joshua's letter is "F". Now, Joshua thinks that anything can begin with "F" as long as you make the "F" sound in front of it. Example: "Mommy, pole begins with "F"! Listen: fffffff-pole." I could go on and on with this idea. Drives me crazy.

Tonight, he told me that there was no "E" on the alpha bucket. I asked him why not, and he replied, "I DON'T KNOW! I think maybe it's tricking me and hiding. Even though I told it not to before it hid. It just didn't listen." That bad old "E". I mean, ear begins with "E", so you'd think it would be a good listener.

Yellow

I went to pick Joshua up from school without Caleb since Matt was home sick. Caleb was asleep, and I didn't want to bother him. When Joshua FINALLY noticed that he wasn't in the car, I told him I left Caleb at home. He got this horrified look on his face and said, "MOMMY! You aren't supposed to DO THAT!!!" I assured him that Caleb was in good hands.

He told me that he got on yellow today for throwing blocks. I asked him how that happened, and he replied, "Well, first of all, I was playing with blocks. Second of all, I don't know." Really cleared things up for me.

Joshua is also creating a song for Caleb's first birthday. According to him, some of it comes out of his mouth, and some of it is just in his head. Glad he has a while to work all of that out.

Bananas and Stuff

The above picture is of Joshua pretending to be a bug man.

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Today Joshua told a joke:

Joshua: Knock, knock
Matt: Who's there?
J: Nothin'
M: Nothin' who?
J: Knock, knock
M: Who's there?
J: Nothin'
M: Nothin' who?
J: Knock, knock
M: Who's there?
J: Banana
M: Banana who?
J: Aren't you glad I didn't say nothin'?

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Joshua is learning about syllables in school. One day last week, he asked me how many symbols some word had. Then he changed it to Seminoles. Then it was sybalals. That's when I figured out that he was trying to say syllables. As a side note, do not EVER ask Matt how many syllables are in words. He was apparently absent when they taught that in his school.

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Joshua is quite fond of aminals. Yes, aminals. He also really likes cimanon rolls on Saturday mornings. It does not matter how many times I correct these words, they always come out the same.

World Hunger

Tonight at church the kids learned about world hunger. Ms. Joanna talked to them about it in the Clubhouse using a power point presentation she had created. She showed a picture of obviously starving children, and then she showed a picture of a McDonalds Happy Meal and a Chick Fil A kids meal. She told the kids that, for about the price of one of these meals ($5), a child in a third world country could eat for a month. The kids made banks to use to collect change for world hunger.

Fast forward to our drive home. Joshua was telling me that he wanted to put some money in his bank. I asked him where he was going to get this money, really hoping that he would say he wanted to take some out of his own bank to put in there. He said, "Mommy, I just need to go to Chick Fil A with a five dollars and get one of those meals to put in there." He must have figured out the obvious problem with this plan, because he then said, "Well, I could just take a five dollars and give it to a missionary and they could take it to Chick Fil A and get a meal for them." Things clearly got mixed up in his little head!

Eventually, he decided he would take some out of his crayon bank and put it in the world hunger bank. He told me how he could take the top off of the giant crayon to get the money out. Then, he got all concerned wondering how to get the money out of the world hunger bank. His conclusion: "Well, I guess the missionaries know how to tell them about God AND how to get the money out of the bank."

Random Funnies

Joshua is very concerned that Santa will not know what Caleb wants for Christmas since he can't talk. Matt assured him that Santa has been doing his job for quite a while, so he will be able to figure out something.

Today, when we were driving to school (which is also our church), Joshua was complaining about how long it was taking. He asked me why they built our church so far from our house, as if they were deliberately trying to stay as far away from us as possible.