The Elephant

Last Saturday, we all went to the zoo. We were going to check out the new Trails of Africa section that has just opened. We were hoping to see the elephant because our zoo has not had an elephant since we have lived in Birmingham. We were a little sad when the elephant was no where to be found.

I was told that the elephant got scared when he heard all of the people and retreated to his house where he remained for the rest of the day. I explained all of this to Joshua which was challenging since he cannot seem to comprehend why on earth a big old elephant would be afraid of little bitty people. I also explained that this elephant lives in our zoo because he has a broken tusk.

My sweet boy then wanted to know if the elephant was embarrassed by his broken tusk and didn't want people to look at him. I told him that I was sure that was not the problem, and that I was pretty sure that he was just not used to so many loud people.

Then he said, "Well, next time we'll just have to talk a little quieter, like a whisper. Maybe then he'll come out."

I just love him.

Noah and The Dogfoot Tree

The funniest conversations with Joshua always take place in the car. Like last Wednesday night, for example. We were headed home in Matt's car, and Joshua was playing with some knit hats that Matt had in the backseat. He stuffed all of them (probably four or five) under his chin. I asked him what he was doing. This is what transpired:

Me: Joshua, what are you doing?
J: (In a DEEP voice) I'm not Joshua. I'm Noah.
Me: Oh. Well, Noah, what are you doing?
J: I'm building an ark.
Me: Why?
J: Because God told me to.
Me: Why?
J: Because there is going to be a flood.
Me: What's that?
J: I don't know. We've never had one before.
Me: Oh. Well, why are you going to have one now?
J: Because so many people are bad.
Me: Who will be with you on the ark?
J: Just my family and the animals.
Me: How many animals?
J: Two of each. Like two. . . (He named MANY types of animals)
Me: How long will you be stuck on this ark?
J: 40 days and 40 nights.
Me: How will you know when to come off the ark?
J: I will send a dove.
Me: Well, why did God choose you to build the ark?
J: Because I'm pretty good.
Me: Oh. That's quite a story.
J: Yes, and it's in the Bible so it's true.

All told in that same silly, deep voice. Priceless.

The next morning, Joshua brought up the fact that I think Bradford Pear trees stink. I had mentioned that to him before we got in Matt's car the night before. He saw some Dogwood trees on the way to school, and I was having a TERRIBLE time trying to explain to him that Dogwoods were not the same as Bradford Pears. This became evident when he said, "Well, I just think those Dogfoot trees are stinky because dogs have stinky feet." So glad he cleared that up.

Hiccups

On the way to school Wednesday, Joshua had a bad case of the hiccups. When we arrived, he got unbuckled and said, "I just have a lot of hickeys today." I said, "Huh?!" He repeated himself. I was trying so very hard not to explain why he could not call hiccups hickeys. When he insisted that he could call them whatever he wanted, I decided I had no choice.

I told him that he shouldn't because no one would understand what he was talking about.
I told him he shouldn't because hickeys were something else.
Then I had to tell him what hickeys were. (Kisses on your neck. Enough information for a four year old.)

He then decided that he did NOT have hickeys. No way. No how. Not him. Not. At. All.

Made in China

On Thursday, Joshua had Olympic games at school. At the end of the day, each child received a medal. Joshua was super excited about it, and he had to tell me all about it on the way home. He was inspecting his "real gold" medal when he discovered some letters on it. He asked, "What does j, a, h, u, c, h, n, a spell?". I was pretty sure the letters were just a manufacturing code of some kind since they obviously didn't spell any words. When he showed it to me, I realized that it actually said, "Ja-Hu" and "China". I assumed that Ja-Hu was the manufacturer, and surprise, surprise it was made in China. I explained these things to Joshua. He thought for a minute, and then said, "Well, when did Mrs. Wendy go to China?".

Fluff or Nutter?

Note: This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post. He's just so dang cute.

Sometimes we make "Fluffer Nutter" sandwiches. For those that don't know, it's a grilled peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich. It gets all ooey gooey and is more like dessert than a sandwich. While I was making them tonight, the following conversation occurred:

J: Which part is the fluff and which is the nut?
L: What do you think?
J: I think the white part is the fluff and the peanut part is the nut. Clouds are made out of fluff, you know.
L: Are they really?
J: Yes, they are sweet like the marshmallow fluff. Except they have hair on them, so you can't eat them. But they fluff around like fluff.

Just a cute moment. Seems they are few and far between these days.

Baby's First Christmas

This was Caleb's first Christmas. It was a huge blessing to have him with us! (Especially since last Christmas he was in mommy's tummy, and mommy wasn't feeling so well. . .) Caleb got to use the special "Baby's First Christmas" stocking that we used for Joshua.

Joshua and I had quite a conversation about that stocking today. First, he told me that he wanted me to save it so that his kids could use it when they came to see me at Christmastime.

After a little probing, these are the details that he provided regarding his future:

He and his wife, Abbi, will have fourteen children. Most will be boys, but a few will be girls. He and Abbi are going to get married in a basketball net. (Yes, that's really what he said.) Abbi is going to wear one of those "things over her face" and he is going to wear "white with black on top". They will stand on the hoop part of the net. There will be flowers, but he's not sure what kind yet.

He is going to work at Daddy's office in the same room as his daddy. Abbi will stay at home with the fourteen children just like me. I think I feel sorry for her.

He does not plan on giving Abbi any kisses, but he will hug her on occasion.

Those are all of the details thus far.

Mickey Mouse is NOT Real, But The Angel Lawn Ornament is

There is this little boy in Joshua's class that he doesn't like all that much. Honestly, I can't say that I blame him. Joshua is generally a pretty good judge of character, and, based on the reports that I hear regarding his behavior, this little guy is not the kind of friend that I want Joshua to have.

On our way home tonight, Joshua was telling me that this boy thinks that Mickey Mouse is real. I'm guessing that this came from the fact that they watched a Mickey Mouse cartoon at school today. Joshua's proclamation was as follows: "I told him that Mickey Mouse is NOT REAL, but he still thinks he is. I told him that animals do not talk, and that they do not walk on two legs. And I told him that they do not wear white gloves. Mommy, I want to invite him to a play date so that you can tell him that Mickey isn't real. Then, we'll just send him home because I don't really want to play with him. I just want you to make him know that Mickey isn't real."

Not ten minutes later, we drove by a house on our street that sometimes has a beautiful lighted angel in their yard. I say sometimes because some days it is there, and some days it mysteriously isn't. I have no idea what that is about. Joshua's thoughts on the subject are that maybe the angel is real and flies away at night but comes back during the day.

That, my friends, is why Mickey Mouse is not real, but the lawn angel down the street is.